Don&#39;t Be a Brat, Slinky. That&#39;s My Profession.

It's pretty, Tara observed, tilting her head way, way back. "The stars are coming out. We can look for constellations!"

Because that was just as useful as looking for vampires, yep.

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"I can never make those out," Kennedy noted, glancing over at her with a grin once she'd finished peering behind a tree. "Much less remember what any of them are called."

Hey, looking for constellations was more productive than this ever was.

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"Oh, see, I always make them up so I remember," Tara said earnestly. "Like -- that over there. That's 'little stack of crackers'."

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Kennedy turned to squint up at the cluster of stars Tara had indicated; she couldn't see it at all, but she nodded gamely. "Cute. But aren't they all named after stuff from mythology and everything? I thought you'd remember those." To tell the truth, she mostly thought Tara had an encyclopedic knowledge of that sort of thing, but she had huge objective blind spots where certain people were concerned.

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Wesley jogged over, in typically ridiculous fake-Watcher patrolling attire. "Hello," he said, panting. "Apologies for the - er, delay. I had a minor issue with a, er - "

Just then a unicorn galloped up after him. "You look divine today, sweetie."

"Leave," he said flatly. Reluctantly, and glancing back at him longingly, the unicorn scurried away.

"Sorry," he said, blushing.

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There was really nothing at all elegant about Kennedy's snort of laughter. (Also nothing patrol-stealthy.) Whether a larger portion of her amusement was reserved for the unicorn or Wesley's outfit was entirely up in the air.

"Wow, what did those guys have to say to you?"

...oh, that was nice, Kennedy. Really nice.

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Probably it was Wes' outfit. His patrol getups tended to be a little, um, ridiculous.

The not-so-niceness of the remark went completely over his head, of course. "Er. Mostly it was inane babbling about my accent," he muttered, blushing again. "And a bit about my - never mind."

The blush skyrocketed up to face-about-to-burst-into-flames status.

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Juuuuuuuuuuust a little.

"Whoa. Glow-in-the-dark Watcher," Kennedy said, her smirk creeping up a couple more notches on the thermometer of insufferable. "You can keep the TMI to yourself, really."

Because she had so much room to talk there.

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It was talking to Kennedy that reminded Wesley why he was sometimes glad he was no longer stationed in Sunnydale. Because 24/7 this was no fun at all. For him.

"My eyes, is what I meant," he protested half-heartedly. "What have they been telling you?"

Yeah, Wes. Let Kennedy gloat a little. Way to derail the conversation for a few hours.

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"I got one in the shop who said I had a very pretty smile," Tara shared, attempting to provide a distraction. "And -- Wesley's jacket isn't bad! It's all, uh, shiny."

Because that was exactly the look a teenage boy was going for: Shiny.

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"Thank you," he said gratefully. For now he'd take shininess compliments over, uh, more Kennedy remarks. No offense, Kennedy.

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Well, "shiny" was sort of a compliment... just in ~~a different Whedon franchise~~ someone else's vernacular.

No offense taken by the way, Wes.

"Those unicorns are pretty cool, I gotta admit," Kennedy drawled as she leaned against a headstone. "Kinda been getting an earful from them all day. Hey, upside? If a vampire actually showed up in here, it'd have no problem finding us."

The chatter would help with that just as much as the shiny jacket, but shh.

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Tara frowned. "Okay," she said. "I know I'm not the, um, expert? But ... I thought we were supposed to find them before they found us."

Adding to the chatter, if not to the jacket.

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"That's generally how it's done, yes," said Wesley dryly. "Though better it find us then it recognize us as a threat and run away to snack on the populace."

Always glass-half-full, this guy.

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Sometimes the dramatic lure of a graveyard proved too much to resist for a vampire. Especially one who was trying and failing at controlling dozens of bats.

One day she'd get used to this. Today, though, was not that day.

That would be why the bats fluttered past the group and started to swirl nearby until they looked less bat-like and more human-like.

More, you know, naked human-like. Damn you, Pratchett. Damn you.

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Tara froze where she was and pointed at the coalescing human form. "Guys?" she said. "D-do we have any idea what that is?"

other than a naked girl. Tara had figured that one out.

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"But." Kennedy's fingers twitched slightly on the grip of her stake, and she shot a confused look at Wesley. "They're only supposed to do that in stories!"

You know. In their world.

Also, naked girl? Really? Way to ruin Kennedy's focus there.

Mind you, she was still running toward the bats, like that was the intelligent thing to do.

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Ooh, yay, he got to explain stuff! Hurrying after Kennedy, like that was a good idea, he explained, "There are powers that certain vampires have to transform into different creatures. Dracula, for example, has mastery of a number of glamours which allow him to - "

Except maybe not the time, Wes.

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And yeah, Kennedy got just enough out of that lecture as she was running to think score, I actually get to stake a vampire!

...which was exactly what she was doing, as it happened. Because there was a whole thing where recognizing faces was not happening.

So, um, probably not the time, Wes, no.

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Maladicta looked down at her chest, blinking owlishly. "Oh, f--" was all that managed to come out before she crumpled into a small pile of ash.

With a small card (http://img810.imageshack.us/img810/8740/cardk.jpg) in it. It was best to not wonder where on her person that had been.

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It was over almost too fast for Tara to react; she stared at the pile of ash a little awkwardly before crouching beside it.

"Kennedy, are you okay? Should we pick up the card?"

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"...why is there a card?" Kennedy was a little too excited about this, at this particular moment, so it took her a second to address the rest of the question. "I'm fine, yeah. I totally just--"

Hang on a second.

"Um. Did that vampire look kind of familiar?"

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And it would just so happen that Alexander, feeling particular thoughtful after his performance in Glee Club, had taken to wandering that night, looking up at the same stars vaguely discussed earlier and wondering if, maybe, just maybe, the stars he saw this night were the very stars that Cassima would be looking upon as well.

So, really, he didn't even realize that he had wandered into a scene until he was pretty much in it.

"Oh," he said, tilting his head slightly. "Good evening, everyone..."

And his eyes drifted toward the pile of ash and he wondered if he should even ask.

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"Trippy evening, more like," Kennedy said from where she'd crouched down next to Tara to prod at the card sticking out of the pile of ash. "Yo, Alexander."

Oh god, he was friends with her, wasn't he, if that had been who she thought it was-- because now was a horrible time to start processing-- and in that case...

Given the option between flailing over the situation or picking up the card? Kennedy went for the card. "Oh my god, they come with disclaimers."

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Kennedy's answer did little to help give Alexander a better sense of what was going on, so he frowned, and asked, "What comes with disclaimers, if I may, er....ask? And is that...ash? Did you burn something?"

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"Kennedy staked a vampire," Tara said, and flushed. "-- it's her job, I mean. Kind of. Sh-she wasn't j-just out here doing it for fun.She was a bunch of bats, and then..."

And then ash, evidently.

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"Then this," Kennedy contributed somewhat unnecessarily, giving Tara a thoroughly boggled look.

She held the card out to Alexander, hoping he, on some wild chance, might have a point of reference on this that wasn't completely insane. "Does this make any sense to you?"

It was so... user-friendly. Weird.

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Wesley felt compelled to toss out a disclaimer: "For reference, Kennedy, one typically does not find cards when staking vampires. Just so you're aware."

Helpful, Wes.

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"How intriguing," Alexander commented, reading the card with a thoughtful frown. He nodded slightly, and then slipped the card temporarily into a pocket so that he could, somehow, produce a small broom and dustpan.

"It looks like we're in luck," he said. "I happen to have the right materials on me, although I'll need something sharp for the drop of blood..."

It never occurred to Alexander that he should just leave the pile of ash. After all, there was a card with instructions. Clearly, one followed such instructions.

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"Oh! I have something," Wesley jumped in, pleased to have the chance to be helpful. He dug around in the pocket of his ~~very shiny~~ jacket and presented a pocketknife, which he then offered to Alexander.

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Kennedy had to spare a moment of wry, if wordless, yes, thanks for that glowering at Wesley, and then Alexander busted out the cleaning implements.

"Oh my god, who carries that stuff around with them?" she asked, staring.

Also boggling that they were actually trying to un-stake a vampire. Which-- her first, and all, and that was cool, but there was the whole unsettling thing where she had a feeling she shouldn't have done that...

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"One never knows," Alexander offered with a smile, "when such things can come in handy."

And, as if to prove his point, he wasted little time in kneeling down in front of the pile of ash and brushing it very neatly into the dustpan before straightening again.

"I suppose now we just need a drop of blood," he said, holding out a finger, since, as impressive as his pockets may be, he still was not so skilled as to hold a pile of ash and prick his finger at the same time.

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Tara raised a hand. "... I can hold the dustpan?" she offered awkwardly. "Do you think she'll show up right there all naked?"

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Alexander...wasn't sure he felt comfortable considering the answer to that question, especially since now it appeared they were dealing with a female.

"Errr," he said, and cleared his throat with a cough. Still, he handed the dustpan to Tara so that he could take Wesley's knife. "I guess we shall find out?"

With that, he gave his thumb a quick slice, not even wincing though the pain was sharp, and squeezed it so that the blood that started to flow could drop from him onto the pile of ash.

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The problem with this happening around dirt was that one always turned back with some of it on their person. Usually in their clothing, but in this case...

Maladicta poofed back into existence, looking slightly dusty and muddy but no worse for wear.

Oh, and still naked.

"You need more iron in your diet," she said, not really helping the whole 'evil vampire' thing.

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Forget the fact that Maladicta was naked. Alexander was still a little shocked on the fact that it was Maladicta at all.

"Maladicta!" he cried.

Paused.

Considered.

"...I must say, this certainly causes many things to make a bit more sense..."

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"Or less." Or both. Oh, yeah, that sinking feeling in Kennedy's stomach wasn't going away.

"...Maladicta?"

Wanting to sink into the ground and die was an entirely uncomfortable feeling when you were completely unused to it.

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"Oh my god," Tara said in dismay. "It's really her. Oh my god."

She frowned. "Sorry?"

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"Yes," Malaidcta said, not fidgeting through sheer force of will. "Well, mistakes happen to the best of us."

A beat.

"Could I borrow a bit of clothing from someone?" Please?

Edited Date: 2010-10-02 03:00 am (UTC)

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Clothing?

Ah, yes. The whole...

Alexander cleared his throat, and, politely, although much too late, turned around. Considering an offering on Tara or Kennedy's part might put them in a similar situation, Alexander decided he should do the gentlemanly thing and offer his own. Wesley, he supposed, could also contribute, but he felt somewhat obligated.

"Of course," he said, tugging out his jerkin from his belt so that he could pull it off his head, instantly giving a little shiver at the exposure of skin to air. "Allow me..."

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Not to be outdone by Alexander's offering, Wesley removed his jacket as well (see, Kennedy? It may be shiny but it was still useful) and held it out to Maladicta, keeping his eyes averted during the transaction.

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Looking from one to the other, Maladicta took both. "Thank you," she said, quickly pulling the first on first. It had a chance of covering the rest of her!

"It's very... shiny."

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"Told you," Kennedy couldn't resist muttering to Wesley. "Oh my god, this is so not fair."

Reconstitutable vampires? Really? Really?

"I, uh," she went on, determined to plow her way through the awkwardness somehow, "sorry about that."

There was no protocol anywhere for apologizing to the vampire you just staked. So many worlds of not fair.

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